engaged? where do I start?
Hands up who got engaged in 2016? Hands up who enjoyed every moment until 2017 kicked in and you realised “flip me, this is the year of our wedding, I need to start planning”? If you are getting married this year, firstly huge congratulations, this is going to be a year like no other. Secondly, if you are already starting to feel a little overwhelmed by all, or any part of the planning, today I’m sharing some advice on staying sane.
REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE
There are so many decisions to get caught up in when planning your wedding. From your choice of dress; venue; stationery style; food options; type of cake; photographer. The list goes on and you’ll no doubt get pulled in various directions with each one along the way. My biggest tip here is to stay true to who you are as a person. It is more than likely by this stage in your life that you know you the best of everyone. You know what suits you and what doesn’t. You know what makes you laugh and what makes your toes curl. Remember this when you are making all these decisions. Yes, your mum may have always imagined you in lace but if you’ve always imagined yourself in something more classic then stick with that.
DO USE A FILTER ON ALL THE ADVICE
I always think that announcing your engagement is a bit like when you announce you are having your first baby. This may sound exceptionally strange, but bear with me. What I mean is that as soon as you do either of these things, almost everyone will offer you some form of advice or “titbit” of information. It’s like a flood gate opens. Whilst, in the most part, people are trying to help, remember that this is your wedding day. It is OK to nod politely whilst secretly filtering all the advice. Linked to the above, take the pieces relevant to you both and happily disregard the rest. It’s OK to do this.
DON’T TRY AND DO EVERYTHING YOURSELF
Nobody is superhuman and most of us have pretty busy lives. Planning a wedding eats into a lot of time and you will find this overwhelming and stressful if you don’t allow anyone to help. Most friends and family will jump at the chance to be involved (although remember the “advice filter”). Equally there are plenty of other places to turn to for help. The internet is the first with so many fantastic wedding blogs offering advice and inspiration or you could hire the help of a professional to help with all or a little part of it. However you choose to do it, think about how to delegate the tasks. I can promise you, even the simplest of things will take you much more time than you expect.
YOU CANNOT KEEP EVERYONE HAPPY
You will make decisions that not everyone agrees with. You will also make decisions that may offend and upset people. This is largely because, people can get very emotional and, sometimes, irrational over weddings. Even the most diplomatic, easy going bride will encounter this, I promise. My tips to staying sane are: be comfortable with the decisions that you are making; recognise that you can’t accommodate everyone; when the going gets a little too tricky, take some time out and reflect on whether or not it’s worth getting worked up over. Nobody wants to be labelled “bridezilla” and, equally, the last thing you will want is to upset people. However, there are some things you’ll feel strongly about and on these, it can be worth sticking to your guns. There will be others where a compromise is a better option. Take a moment each time to think it through. I find a glass of wine or large gin always help!